Ever been in a meeting where you asked, “Are we all on board?”
You likely got a few enthusiastic nods, some polite half-nods, a couple of blank stares, maybe someone glanced at their phone … and then you moved on. Time’s ticking, right?
Fast forward a few days, and you’re scratching your head—why hasn’t anyone followed through? You thought you had agreement.
But did you?
Sure, no one said no. No one disagreed.
But aside from that one energetic nodder (the one who makes you feel like, phew, I’m not alone in this leadership thing), you didn’t really get a yes. You got passive silence.
And silence ≠ buy-in. As much as we wish it did.
Enter: the roman thumb
If you're wondering how to improve participation in meetings, this is a fast, powerful way to find out where people really stand.
Next time you're making a decision or sharing a direction, ask your team to give one of the following signals:
- 👍🏼 Thumb up – I’m in. Let’s go.
- 👉🏼 Thumb sideways – I’ll support this, but I have some reservations.
- 👎🏼 Thumb down – I believe this is the wrong direction and could cause harm.
Now you know where people stand—and so does the team.
There’s no hiding behind vague nods or post-meeting grumbles. Either you're on board, or you're not. Own it.
This one simple move cuts through passive agreement and eliminates the underground murmurs that derail execution after the meeting ends.
What to remember when using the roman thumb
1. This isn't a vote
The roman thumb is a collaboration tool for making better decisions, not for turning your team into a democracy. The majority may not rule.
Make it clear: As the leader, you’re still making the call. You’re owning the outcome and accepting accountability for it. But you want to hear what people really think—both the applause and the concerns.
2. Not all thumbs up? Not a problem
You’re not doing this so your team can see everyone agrees. You’re doing it for visible, peer-witnessed clarity—where people own their level of support.
A sideways or down thumb doesn’t mean you stop the meeting. It means you pause and explore. Get curious. There’s probably something valuable in their hesitation.
3. Be grateful for sideways or down thumbs
It takes courage to speak up—especially when it’s easier to nod along and stay under the radar.
As leaders, we get what we celebrate. So celebrate those who say, “Hold on—I see something we should consider.” These are your culture-keepers, blind-spot flaggers, and trust accelerators.
Thank them for being willing to bring it up (by putting their thumbs sideways or down).
4. Don’t let one thumb stall the whole show
If everyone is aligned except for one person, don’t ignore it. If you act as if there was full agreement, you communicate that the dissenter’s voice wasn’t heard or didn’t matter.
Instead, acknowledge their perspective without derailing the decision:
“That’s a good point, and I’ve considered it—I still believe the benefit outweighs the risk.”
or
“That’s a perspective I hadn’t thought of. Let me dig into it and circle back.”
You’re not trying to make everyone happy—you’re trying to move forward with clarity and ownership.
Try it in your next meeting
People often ask us how to improve participation in meetings. The roman thumb sounds too easy to be the answer, but time and again leaders tell us what a difference it makes with their teams.
If you've never used it, just try it in your next meeting—you'll be amazed. This small gesture gives real-time clarity, reduces misalignment, and builds a culture where voices are heard before things go sideways.
Want to improve participation, trust, and team alignment?
