We all know that one team member. You expect a 2-minute update . . . and 17 minutes later, you're still hearing about the full back story, three tangents, and a saga that spans four vendors and two snack breaks. And the rest of the team has stopped listening.
The reality is that when a team member consistently provides too much detail, they create a slowdown and can even play a role in diminishing the momentum of the team overall.
But here’s the thing: it’s rarely about control or ego. More often than not, it’s about seeking reassurance. So how do you help this person and keep things moving?
Here are five practical, kind strategies that support your team member—and your team—in running efficient meetings.
1. Disrupt—then reassure
When someone starts getting into the weeds, pause.
Look them in the eye and say something like:
“Hey, Alex, I know you work hard and you’re thoughtful in your process. I trust you. While I know you want me to understand the details, I don’t need the whole back story. What I need is ABC.”
“ABC” could be the cost of a project, the decision that was made, or the next step.
Let them know they don’t need to explain or justify their work. You trust them.
This not only cuts through the clutter—it gives them the affirmation they’re really looking for.
2. Create a code word
Together, come up with a simple word or phrase you can use to kindly steer them back on track.
It might be something like “at treetop level,” “30,000 feet,” or even something simple like “quality.”
The point isn’t to embarrass—it’s to build a shared shorthand that makes running efficient meetings smoother for everyone.
3. Offer an analogy they can hold onto
Let’s say you’ve asked them to provide a diabetic-friendly dessert. You don’t need to know they tried Stevia, honey, palm sugar, and applesauce before settling on the best option. You don't need to know all the trials and tribulations they went through to get to the right measurement, or which store they went to to find the ingredients, or who they talked to to figure out the best recipe.
What you need? “I made a sugar-free cake.” (And maybe a slice to try.)
4. Ask for high-level context (only if needed)
Sometimes they do need to loop you in on the process. But even then, you can shape how it's presented.
Ask them to frame it like this: “I made a sugar-free cake and had to test four sweeteners to figure out what worked.”
That’s all you need—and they still get to share the complexity of their work without slowing the room down.
5. Use the Discussion Frame-Up
If this pattern happens often, ask them to use this Discussion Frame-Up before your meetings.
It keeps the focus where it belongs—and helps everyone feel clear, not drained.
The big win
Supporting this team member with empathy while setting gentle boundaries ensures everyone gets what they need—without sacrificing time, momentum, or mental energy.
Because running efficient meetings isn’t about shutting people down—it’s about lifting everyone up by making better use of everyone’s time. Here's to creating more ease, momentum, and velocity for your entire team!
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